To Succeed, Make Up a New Story

In my last post, I stated that as long as you’re here, you’ll always have an ego. One of the nastiest realities of your ego is that it tells you you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy and/or you’re not loved. The result is that all people have, to one degree or another, an issue with their self worth. And it should be pretty obvious that if you don’t feel good enough, worthy or loved, you won’t allow yourself to have the things you want in life. You just don’t see yourself as worthy or deserving of what life has to offer.

I concluded by saying: Whether you’re worthy or not is all a made up story. No one stamps you worthy or not, only you do that. If you say you’re worthy, you are. If you say you’re not, you’re not – and many of you say you’re not. Life is this big game you’re playing and it’s your game. And you can re-set it up anytime you want.

So what do I mean by that? Well, it starts with the fact that human beings have a hard time accepting a fundamental truism and that is: nothing inherently means anything! Life is neutral. The only thing anything means is the meaning we give it. And, starting early in life, we give meaning to everything and make many decisions based on the meaning we give to the events of life.

So, by the time we’re 5 or 6 or 7, we’ve pretty much made up a whole story about who we are, how life works, what’s right and what’s wrong, how we fit in, etc etc etc. Because of the work of the ego, the unfortunate reality is that most of that story is negative and that’s where the I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, and/or I’m not loved story begins. To make matters worse, we then start collecting evidence to validate the story and it gets more and more solid as we grew older.

For far too many people, the story is so rich and so real it’s hard to imagine it’s just a made up story. In fact, you may actually be insulted that I would even suggest that. If that’s the case, I apologize. But it doesn’t change the fact. It’s just a story.

Here’s a simple demonstration of the validity of my point. Most of you have heard me speak someplace. If I was speaking in a room set up for 300 people and people started coming into the room, where would everyone sit? Where would you sit? It’s extremely unlikely you would sit in the front row, right? I say that because nobody does. When I ask people to sit up front, the standard answer is always: you’re not going to call on me are you?

People live in absolute fear of embarrassment and will do anything to avoid it, all because of their self worth issues. Got the point? Can you see that you do this?

Again, you made up this story when you were 5 or 6 or 7 and you now live in it as if it’s the truth. It’s not. It’s just a made up story. Here’s the best version of the truth I have ever found: You can find this on page 152 of Unshackled Leadership in a chapter devoted to this issue. It’s a quote from Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love. Here’s a part of the quote. Please read this as if it’s the truth about you:

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God…We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone”

After meeting and working with hundreds of thousands of people, I can absolutely say, with confidence, that you are a whole, perfect, complete, talented, remarkable, fabulous and amazing human being. You really are. That’s my story. Wouldn’t you rather live in that story than the egos? What the truth is doesn’t even matter. It’s all just a story. Just think about how much more fun life would be if you lived in my story about you. And the next time you attend one of my presentations, or anyone else’s, you might just walk in and take a seat right in the middle of the front row. How cool would that be!

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