Take responsibility for your own happiness and make requests

I’ve come to realize that one of the many reasons why people are so unhappy is that they don’t really know what would make them happy and, even if they do, they don’t take responsibility for getting what they want. A simple example will hopefully suffice to make my point.

My two daughters recently spent a week at our house. This was a rare treat in that one daughter lives in Toronto and the other in Los Angeles and this was the first time in well over 20 years that my Toronto daughter came to So CA just to “hang out.” I was particularly happy that my daughter was able to see our new home in San Juan Capistrano.

My daughter who lives in LA has hardwood floors in her condo and so she immediately takes her shoes off when she enters. Not sure what my other daughter does, but she seems to like walking around with bare feet also.

Anyway, I have carpet in all of the main rooms in my house and I’ve been told by the man who cleans them that the worst thing you can do to carpet is walk on it with bare feet because the oils from your feet get into the carpet and can’t be removed. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t ever walk on our carpet with bare feet.

Some time during my daughters’ stay, I started to notice that they were walking around with bare feet. My first reaction was to say something but I was so enjoying them being here, I chose not to. Big mistake. As the week wore on, it started to bother me more and more until finally I blurted out something like: it would really be great it if you guys would not walk barefoot on the carpet.

Here’s what’s so interesting: my younger daughter, who is really quite good at asking for what she wants, simply replied: all you had to do was make a request and we would have been happy to wear shoes in the house!

This so reminded me of my mother. She would always say things like: “it would be nice if you …” When I would respond: “nice for who?,” she would just repeat what she said before. She would never say: “it would be nice for me!”

How do you expect to get what you want if you don’t take the time to decide what you want and then ask for it? But that’s what most people do and then they blame others for not giving them what they want. Life really can be a lot simpler than we make it. Take responsibility for what makes you happy and learn to make requests. I surely appreciated the reminder this week. Hope you do to.

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