When you walk into work in the morning are you at peace? Are you ready to face the day with enthusiasm and optimism? Did you leave a situation at home in a good place? Is all well between you and your spouse and any children at home? What about between them? Is your home life joyous and loving? Unfortunately, far too many people cannot answer those questions in the affirmative and that has a dramatic impact on their performance at work. Let’s see how this works.
As I have mentioned before, our definition of a successful organization is a group of enthusiastic, optimistic, appreciative and happy people working together on behalf of a future they have all committed themselves to. The first part of that definition inherently includes two components. First, the environment at work needs to be such that the relationships among all the team members promote everyone being enthusiastic, optimistic, appreciative and happy. We have an amazing track record of creating high performance teams at work where that is present.
But the second component is that everyone has to come to work ready, willing and able to participate in that kind of environment. Far too many people are ready and willing, but not able because they came to work leaving a mess at home, not realizing the impact this has on their performance at work.
In the simplest of terms, everything in the Universe is energy, including a human being. Every human being creates an energy field that is 100% a function of their attitude. Haven’t you even said about a person that they are putting out a bad vibe? If you pay attention to it, you can feel the energy of anyone you come into contact with. For example, when you get around people who are happy, joyous, passionate and enthusiastic, it just feels good to be around them. Their attitude can even rub off on you and motivate you to be that way.
But when you get around people who are frustrated, angry, resentful or discouraged, we often refer to them as “downers,” and we can’t wait to get away from them because they tend to bring us down. So it’s the responsibility of each individual on a team to determine what kind of person they are bringing to work. And there is nothing that impacts this more than what’s going on at home.
A couple of weeks ago, in discussing my recent health challenges, I was happy to report that I had gotten to the bottom of the source of the stress in my life, had dealt with it, and I have been feeling better and better, happier and happier and stronger and stronger every day since. And I’m almost embarrassed to say that the source of the stress was what I am writing about here: the lack of a peaceful and loving home environment. While my wife is a truly wonderful person, we have come to acknowledge that we are completely different human beings, in every way. We have spent so much energy trying to bridge the gap between us, literally since the day we got married, the inherent conflict has just chipped away and chipped away at the love we experienced when we met.
So we have decided to go our separate ways. We will continue to live together for the next month or two, but with the pressure off, we have really become good friends and we have been able to create that peaceful and loving home environment that is surely contributing to the healing of my body. While it saddens me, and has surely saddened our families and friends, that this is happening, we are both clear that we have made the right decision.
I tell you this for one simple reason: do not step over whatever is going on at home that is robbing you of your peace and joy. You cannot be as effective as you would like to be if you don’t have an energy that is consistent with success. Do not run away from it, confront it in as loving and compassionate a way as you can, but do confront it. If you don’t, it will impact your life and work in ways you can’t imagine. It probably already is.