In my last post, I talked about how we all seem to sabotage ourselves in our relationships with others. I suggested that we look through the eyes of judgment and almost instantly create a story about who the other person is. And, the more we interact with the other person, the more complete and solid the story becomes. Eventually, who they are is our story and no matter how they may change, they will always be the person we have the story about. I concluded by asking you to start noticing how much you do this with ALL the people in your life.
Here’s the final piece of the puzzle and, to a degree, the most difficult piece to accept. At the most basic level, relationships are the vehicle that support us in becoming the person we were meant to be when we first arrived here. Think about this: if you lived in a bubble by yourself, never interacting with another human being, no matter how much time elapsed, you would stay the exact same human being you are today. There would be nothing that would require you to look at yourself and your behavior and make any changes. So the fact of the matter is that every relationship is a gift. You get to see yourself in action and have the opportunity to keep what works and change what doesn’t, if you choose to do so.
Would you be willing to consider the possibility that every single person that comes into your life has been attracted to you, by you, so that you can become the next highest version of who you are in this lifetime? And would you be further willing to consider the possibility that you have handed each of these people a script to play so you can do exactly that? I know this sounds a bit far-fetched but I assure you that this is exactly what happens. You are the producer, the director and the star of the drama that your life is and everyone is sent my central casting to help you play out that drama. And whether you believe it or not, your willingness to act from that perspective will surely be life changing.
Why? Because you get to stop being a victim, stop making others wrong, and stop living at the effect of others. This is the ultimate act of taking responsibility for everything in your life. This approach gives you freedom and power because the only one that has to change anything that’s not working is YOU!
So here’s your assignment, if you’re willing to be brave and accept it. Stop complaining about the people in your life. All of them. You attracted them and they are just doing, at a level you will never understand, what you have asked them to do. They are just showing you your rough edges and it’s your responsibility to thank them and be grateful and start smoothing those rough edges. Do this and watch your world transform. Avoid this and you will surely suffer.