Well here it is, the first week in December, and you all know what’s around the corner. In fact, most of you have either been to the stores or on-line, or both, doing your holiday/Christmas/Hanukkah shopping. How can you not? With Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday shouting at us, we are bombarded in all directions with the reality that the holidays are coming.
Here’s a great question for you: as you look forward to whatever holiday you will be celebrating, are you feeling joy, or sadness, or regret, or some of all? I was talking to someone recently, just before thanksgiving, a single mom with 4 children, and she stated that the holidays were always a sad time for her. Why? She really doesn’t have strong relationships with any of her children and mostly, they don’t even talk to each other. So, when everyone else is celebrating the holidays with their family members, she isn’t and that makes her sad.
I can give you many more examples, enough to make the point that the holidays are not necessarily joyous times for all. For me personally, my daughters live in Canada and Boulder, CO, most of the rest of my family lives in Florida and Texas, I live in California and the only one even close is my sister. We did spend Thanksgiving together this year, but mostly, I spend the holidays by myself or with friends.
So, for those of you that have any regrets or leftover resentments at this time of year, I offer you the amazing wisdom of Wayne Dyer, who authored many books during his remarkable life time:
“At the root of virtually all spiritual practices is the notion of forgiveness. This was what came out of Jesus of Nazareth while he was being tortured on a cross by a Roman soldier throwing a spear into his side. It is perhaps the most healing thing that you can do to remove the low energies of resentment and revenge from your life completely.
“Think about every single person who has ever harmed you, cheated you, defrauded you, or said unkind things about you. Your experience of them is nothing more than a thought you carry around with you. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will disempower you. If you could release them, you would know more peace.
“You practice forgiveness for two reasons. One is to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with that person; and two, to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment. Resentment is like venom that continues to pour through your system, doing its poisonous damage long after being bitten by the snake. It’s not the bite that kills you; it’s the venom. You can remove venom by making a decision to let go of resentments. Send love in some form to those you feel have wronged you and notice how much better you feel, how much more peace you have.
“Indeed, there are no justified resentments if you wish to walk along the extra mile and enjoy inner peace and success on every stop of the path.”
While the above quoted passage from Wayne Dyer focus on resentments, the same thoughts apply to regrets that you have. Often, the last person we forgive is ourselves, for all the times we feel we let ourselves down or somehow missed the mark. So please, do yourself a favor and give yourself the greatest gift that you can this holiday season by accepting all the choices you and those connected to you made, forgiving yourself and all others, and letting go of all resentments and regrets so you can start 2018 fresh!